egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

slydigger:

my life is as unorganized as a forever 21 store

civilisationsofpurethought:

thesickestjokes:

I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.
They said “Will”, “you” and “me”.
That’ll keep her busy whilst I watch sports.

are you satan

hopeinrecovery:

psyducker:

*standing at the wedding alter*

spouse: i do

me: same

this is me